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Wellness and Personal Growth

These articles are for any reader interested in enhancing personal growth and well-being.

Emotional Intelligence: How is Yours?

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE:   How does Yours Stack up? Like mental intelligence, emotional intelligence is a combination between inborn giftedness (temperament) and learned abilities (acquired skill sets). It is easier to learn if we didn’t inherit an extreme emotional disposition, and if we have had healthy role models, or chosen them for ourselves. The theory and research do not provide a single clear picture for what emotional intelligence is, but I …Read More

Ten Great Christmas Gifts in your Budget

TEN GREAT HOLIDAY GIFTS IN YOUR BUDGET   There’s one contagious infection we’re all trying to catch this year—the Christmas Spirit. If you do catch it, be careful you don’t lose it in all the rush to find, buy, decorate, and deliver the kind of presents you wrap. Too many of those gifts can wrap us up, tight as the drummer boy’s drum. Sure, they help the national economy, and …Read More

Psychology 101

PSYCHOLOGY 101: MAKING SENSE OF MOTIVATION   Ever wonder why two brothers or sisters turn out to be so different from each other? What drives some people to love so strong, or work or play so hard? What makes your personality the way it is? The view of human nature you will find below does not come from any psychology book. It comes instead out of my own experience, and …Read More

HOW TO SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

  HOW GOOD ARE YOUR PERSONAL BOUNDARIES?   The food, drink and pills you take in through your mouth determine more than anything else how healthy your body is. Likewise the beliefs, expectations and responsibilities you take in through your relationships mostly determine the health of your heart, mind and soul. Your happiness depends even more upon your soul diet than your physical diet, and the key to health is …Read More

Is your Faith Toxic or Healthy?

  IS YOUR FAITH HEALTHY?   What is healthy faith, anyway, and who am I to judge it? As a psychologist, I can tell when people’s religious beliefs and lifestyles are enabling them to enjoy life, be enjoyable to others, and leave the world a better place each day. No matter what a person’s religious faith or denomination, most would agree this is healthy. For defining sick and healthy religious …Read More

Celebrating Introversion

  A CHALLENGE FOR INTROVERTS TO CELEBRATE WHO THEY ARE In 2014 a powerful and introverted New York lawyer Susan Cain wrote an influential and popular book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that can’t Stop Talking. She documents conclusively that in the last ninety years America has been developing a clear bias toward extraverted personalities. The other leading nations of the world all lean toward introversion: Germany, …Read More

Three Doors to Live Behind

Game Players, Team Players, and Game Changers As a psychologist, I’m not much on typologies. They assume all people fit nicely into one of several personality types, and I keep seeing bell curves from the research. Nevertheless, I am going to give you here three approaches to life that I see, three mindsets if you will. I think we all have moments of all three, but when push comes to …Read More

Acting on Feelings or Beliefs?

THE BEST USES OF EMOTIONS AND BELIEFS A client recently taught me a helpful little verse: Feel your feelings,      and talk them out. Believe your beliefs,      and act them out. I can think of three ways we often violate this helpful little guideline. We neglect it altogether. When we mess up a situation, we are often too proud, scared, or guilty to go back and fix it. Even …Read More

Recovering from Trauma and Abuse

Can People Recover from Trauma and Abuse?             It is with both pride and embarrassment that America has become known as a victims’ society. We can be proud that we prosecute perpetrators of rape, domestic violence, and child abuse at least as severely as most developed nations. But we should be ashamed that these punishments have not deterred perpetrators as effectively as they have been stimulated by the violence they …Read More

Making Important Decisions

Making Important Decisions When difficult, important decisions have to be made, it’s good to have a clear view of our priorities. We need to know the goals we have set and the principles we believe in to help us reach those goals. We look for confirmation of our decisions in our moral reasoning, gut-level feelings, the feedback of others, circumstances around us, and hopefully we look in the Bible and …Read More