In July 2007, a book I have written for single adults was published by BookSurge in Charleston, SC. Booksurge sells this book directly and through its parent company, Amazon.com. More information on this project:
Growing Your Love Life:
Building Healthy Single Adult Relationships
Only a person who’s recently dated after being divorced or
widowed can speak straight to
the gut of the single adult reader. The
gospel is presented here for the first time in the frank language of
previously married adults out together on a Saturday night.
The author speaks from his personal experience dating several women
first as a young man, and then again after his divorce, which confirmed
the practical value of these ideas in real life.
Moreover, as a psychologist, he brings a complementary professional
authority, from listening to the stories of fifteen hundred single adults he has
worked with, and thousands more married people looking back with some
regret on their courtship. He also
teaches from his own international research, and cites the work of over a
hundred other secular and religious scholars. Underneath
all these personal and professional authorities, he founds his insights
on the solid rock of biblical truth.
The book’s central metaphor, its underlying assumption, and its
main lesson are all new. The principal picture of romantic relationships compares them to
fruit-bearing plants growing in careful ecological balance through their
various seasons. The primary
idea is that the flesh (ego) can be inspired to become not so much at war
with the spirit as delighting in it, as the flesh is designed to reach its
full liveliness only in balance with the spirit’s leadership.
And the book’s main idea is good news indeed:
it shows for the single again, physical affection can grow
gradually throughout courtship when it is pegged to the couple’s growing
levels of commitment and personal disclosure, so that all three progress
in tandem, and reach a new high together on the wedding day.
To see the book's front and back cover, click here.
I travel to speak in churches about this new approach to dating. Below is some highlight information about the manuscript, and the content of the talks I will be giving. . . .
What is the book’s message?
The
central metaphor and main idea are fresh, that love relationships
are living creations inspired by God, and that their commitment,
personal disclosure, and physical affection grow optimally in careful
balance with each other. Unlike
other books, it shows how expressing physical affection in this new way,
without inhibiting or indulging it, helps not only to save sexual
intercourse for marriage, but also to enhance it.
To
whom is the book written?
The
target audience is single adults interested in
romantic relationships.
What else is new here?
My
approach has been field-tested in my counseling of 1500
singles, my research with
800 people throughout North America, and my own dating experiences as a
divorcee.
No
previous book has been so friendly to both traditional values for
premarital abstinence and the reader’s desire to enjoy life and preserve
romance. My approach
to physical affection builds self-control, and harmonizes Christian authors
previously disagreeing on
What
topics can you speak about?
As today’s single adults yearn for freedom and self-fulfillment yet struggle to honor the conservative wisdom of their elders, this book and author bring a new message of practical hope for those in love, and those still thinking about it.
