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November 2015

After Breaking up, Can We Still be Friends?

   After Breaking up, Can We Still be Friends? [This was my first newspaper column, done in the 1970’s. I still believe it, and our society still doesn’t.]              Reader: My lover and I are breaking up a 16-month-long relationship. I want to hang onto this as a friendship, but he says it can’t be done. If not, why not, and if so, how?             Dr. Schmidt:     Nobody tells you …Read More

Second-hand Stress

Coping with Second-hand Stress Here is some assertiveness training for dealing with emotional bullies or master manipulators. The key is to see the invisible force they hit you with–stress. When somebody “stresses” you, according to the dictionary, they are subjecting you to pressure or strain. The verb “subject” literally means to throw somebody under something, like the proverbial bus, or in this case, a busload of stress. Only if you …Read More