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Sex Addiction: Online Help

The “word of God” can also be found in Christian writings for the perpetrators and victims of sexual sin.  Though not specifically Christian, Pat Carnes bases his hope on the Biblically inspired 12-step program.  Doug Weiss, Mark Laaser and Harry Schaumburg are Biblically oriented Christian psychologists who are themselves recovering from sex addiction.  They show how sexual infidelity and pornography are twisted perversions of our spiritual hunger for God.  Help Online: www.sexhelp.com – Great source of information, research, and on-line tests to learn about yourself …Read More

Four Circles

  Four-Circle Sobriety Plan          Four concentric circles represent three important lists of behaviors, and one list of warning signs. These lists will be fluid, and you will need to add and subtract new items on a regular basis, at least from the boundaries list and the recovery behaviors below.   Use these lists to structure and summarize your reports to people of how you have been doing, in the order …Read More

Four Core False Beliefs of Sexual Addiction

Below are four lies your addiction will keep trying to get you to believe.  They are discussed in several of Dr. Patrick Carnes’ books.  In order to train your brain to think differently, make your own copy of this document, and add after each one ideas that will counteract them.  Unbold the lie, and leave the healthy ideas in bold face.  For each healthy idea, cite your source (authority).  Carry a copy of this with you …Read More

Biblical Insights and Questions about Sexual Sin

           (Each paragraph can be a private devotional, or a class for group discussion.) The Bible gives in rich detail how life unfolds for people who fall into sexual sin. It was pure visual seduction for David when he laid eyes on his neighbor’s wife Bathsheba (2Sam 11). His heart followed his eyes in violating the 10th commandment, and in short order that act stimulated violations of the 9th (lying), 8th …Read More

The Lies of “Soft Pornography”

There’s nothing soft about the damage “soft pornography” does to those not aware of its dangers.  And few people are.  If you use pornography or know somebody who does, here are fifteen common lies whispered to us by the purveyors of sex trash in magazines, movies, and websites. I can control myself.  I will be able to keep my porn use from growing. Reality:   What satisfies now won’t satisfy later.  Porn demands increasingly degrading stimulation. …Read More

Bullet Points of Sex Addiction and Recovery

DSB’s:  Dysfunctional Sexual Behaviors may include:  masturbation, pornography, flirting, eyeballing, massage, cheating, chatting, phone sex, role exploitation, buying, selling and trading sex, pain exchange, 800 #s, anonymous (bathroom/park) sex, fetishes, voyeurism, exposing yourself, webcam exposures, and varieties of shutting down:  impotence, anorexia, avoidance of marital love & sex. Ten Addictive Signs:  impulse control, broken plans, can’t quit, preoccupation (obsession), loss of needed time/money, irresponsibility, social fallout, social dropout, behavioral escalation (tolerance), withdrawal symptoms (mood changes).  3 …Read More

Prodigal Sons: The Journey Home

The hallmarks of addiction are:  failed efforts to control or stop the addiction, withdrawal pains, obsessive thoughts about the habit, increasing consumption, continued addictive behavior despite huge costs/problems from doing so, and self-deception about the causes and effects of the addictive behavior. A very common cause and effect of addictions are their polar opposites:  compulsive habits of avoidance (aversions, or “anorexias”).  The causes and effects of these aversive disorders are remarkably similar to those for …Read More

Sex: When is it an addiction?

Forward Movement Publications in Cincinnati published a pamphlet I was asked to write explaining sexual addiction to the average Christian reader. You may find the contents of the pamphlet below: Sex:  When is it an Addiction? By Dr. Paul Schmidt Of all the experiences we 21st century Americans crave, of all the images we see that motivate us to buy, the biggest idol we worship today is romantic intimacy.  We long for a …Read More