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Tag Archives: conflict resolution

Side-Stepping Second-Hand Stress

We learned last week twelve ways that emotional bullies and master manipulators dump their pressures and problems onto us. Assuming now that you can identify these stress-inducing behaviors that will trigger your bogus pressure alarm, how can you keep people from throwing you under the busload of stress that they carry around? How do you avoid absorbing someone’s second-hand stress? Here are some ways that are polite, and respectful of …Read More

Triangles Can Help or Hurt Communication

Sometimes when we want to talk with someone, we assume they wouldn’t understand, or worse still, wouldn’t listen. Maybe they’d even fire back some criticism at the messenger so they didn’t have to deal with the message. So we send our message through a third party. This is called a ricochet message, or a bank shot, but these terms imply it just happens once. Usually messages keep coming this way, …Read More

Forgive? Why? Who? What? When? and really, How?

Perhaps the number one killer of mental and relational health is the refusal to go through the learning experience of emotional pain.  But I believe our next biggest mental health buzz kill is our refusal to forgive others and ourselves. I just have to take a stab here at trying to reduce just a little bit this colossal waste of serenity. Forgiveness is a private act.  It is first of …Read More