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Brain Food for the Good Life

Genuine Intimacy in Marriage and Faith

Genuine Intimacy in Marriage and Faith The simultaneous experience of vulnerability and safety is not found exclusively in marriage.  The apostle Paul felt that people could be closer to God and to those they loved if they were not burdened with a spouse and children at home (see his extremely personal confession in the entire seventh chapter of his first letter to the Corinthians).  There is obvious truth in this, …Read More

Is this sexual activity dirty for us?

  Applying Romans 14 to Marital Lovemaking   Spiritually, most Christians consider romantic touch a matter of individual conscience.  The Bible doesn’t give one set of behavioral guidelines here for everybody, so the principles of Romans 14 should certainly apply.  Let’s each read this chapter devotionally, letting it and God read us as we do.  To see how it applies to our romantic touching, we would need to try replacing …Read More

A Most Effective Sobriety Plan

Four Circles            A new approach to establsihing and maintaining sobriety has emerged from the most effective treatment centers in recent years.  It is a direct ap[lication of the 12 steps of AA, and it is a great way to measure your risk at any given time, and to report to someone else how you are doing.  It works if you work it.  Four concentric circles …Read More

Porn Abuse in Teens

Pornography Abuse in Teenagers: How Parents can Understand and Reverse It   America’s surgeon general has agreed with the consensus of research:   9 out of every 10 young people will be exposed to Internet pornography before they reach age 18.   Quarantine assumes you are more savvy with technology than your teen, which is highly doubtful.  So quarantine needs to be strengthened by inoculation, so that using both becomes the best …Read More

Turning Your Unhealthy Relationships Around

  REVERSING UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS It seems to me that most Americans have one or more people somewhere in their family or friends that they just can’t get along with.  The way it feels is like, “I just don’t feel comfortable around them.  I can’t be myself.  They make me feel and act crazy, so I prefer to avoid them.” To create and maintain healthy relationships with our friends and family …Read More

Help for Financial Disorders

  STRUGGLING WITH MONEY AND WORK DISORDERS: HOARDING, GAMBLING, UNDER-EARNING, BINGE-SHOPPING, AND WORKAHOLICS   by Dr. Paul Schmidt   Forty years ago, some research I was doing proved that people with upper-upper income levels tend to live their lives in some ways very much like people with lower-lower incomes.  Both groups were preoccupied with money and work issues, and these hang-ups kept both groups from having close, comfortable relationships. With the …Read More

Giving Sex and Love Education to Your Children

How Relevant are Traditional Values in our Pornified Culture? by Dr. Paul F. Schmidt   Sexual energy, beautiful bodies, romantic love, and close relationships — as much as they are idolized in our culture, there is nothing inherently good or bad about them.  They are all morally neutral resources, because they can be used for good or bad purposes.  Whether or not we have them isn’t nearly as important as …Read More

Diagnosing and Understanding Sex Addiction

Sex Addiction Assessment   Marie Wilson, MA and Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D., CAS The following are some of the extreme examples we see today that exemplify the insanity of sexual addiction: A woman uses a vibrator so intensely she burns herself and has to go to the emergency room. A priest has a thousand-dollar-a-week prostitution habit. His only way to support the habit is to steal from the parish he …Read More

2nd Full Disclosure (Step 9 Amends)

 2nd Full Disclosure (Step 9 Amends) Christian Sex Addicts and their Spouses:  Giving and Receiving Disclosure in Grace and Truth   Grace and truth are both contagious, and they need each other.  Our communications in marriage should show (and thus inspire) love, respect, and understanding toward BOTH spouse and self:  love your neighbor as yourself.  Disclosing sexual betrayal and sin goes better when both spouses first read this article, and …Read More

Sublimate Your Sex Drive, Don’t Suffocate It

SUBLIMATION Sublimate your Sex Drive, Don’t Suffocate It One of the few times Freud was in agreement with Victorian culture was when he taught the usefulness of sublimating the sex drive before marriage.  (His biographies all suggest he had to work hard at practicing what he preached on this score.)  The word sublimate comes from the same root words as sublime.  It suggests lifting something up over the threshold so …Read More