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Tag Archives: recovery

I’m Thankful I’m an Addict

I’m Thankful that I’m an Addict Last week on Thanksgiving Day driving to visit relatives, it took my wife and me an hour and a half to finish thanking God for all the blessings in our life. One of the biggest gratitudes for me was that that day was my 30th “birthday” of my new life in sobriety and recovery. It was not until my third year of recovery that …Read More

HOW TO WORK A 12-STEP PROGRAM

HOW TO WORK A 12-STEP PROGRAM What exactly is a 12-step program? It is the people, principles, prayers, and lifestyle practices of recovery from addiction that was started by Alcoholics Anonymous back in the 1930’s. To work a program successfully, you need all four—the people, principles, prayers, and practices. You can’t just read and learn at home, just go to meetings and call your sponsor, just ask God to take …Read More

Marijuana

Marijuana:  Thoughts on its Use, Abuse, and Legalization I have never really had a position or opinion on marijuana, and in recent weeks I have grown weary of this ignorance. To prepare my thoughts on this subject, I have done three things. First, I have obtained professional training as a certified addictions specialist from the International Institute for Addiction and Trauma Professionals. Secondly I have spent several hours looking through …Read More

Alcoholism

I. What is alcoholism? A. Chronic, progressive, incurable, fatal disease that is characterized by loss of control over alcohol and other sedatives. 1. Chronic—you’ve had the problem for a little while. 2. Progressive– Grows on you; gets worse; going to take more alcohol to get a good buzz. 3. Incurable– Always going to have it; after years of recovery; even after you stop the temptation will always be there. 4. Fatal– Does kill …Read More

Relapse Repair

What caused my relapse (inner circle violation)? What had I neglected from the program I was working (outer circle, preventive behaviors)? For how long? Why? What else should I have (and can now) put in that outer circle as recovery behaviors? What slips had I ignored, not made amends for (middle circle)? What else should I have (and can now) put in that middle circle as slips to report? What …Read More

How to Work a Good 12-Step Program

What exactly is a 12-step program?  It is the people, principles, prayers, and lifestyle practices of recovery from addiction that was started by Alcoholics Anonymous back in the 1930’s.  To work a program successfully, you need all four—the people, principles, prayers, and practices.  You can’t just read and learn at home, just go to meetings and call your sponsor, just ask God to take away the desire to act out, …Read More

Codependent Enabling: Stages of Decline

People trying to save or help their addicted loved ones are in a similar position to a pastor trying to save his congregation from sin. They often use similar tactics. After a time of this helping, the addict comes to resent the reforming efforts of the loved one, who is after all supposed to be his parent or spouse, not his counselor, sponsor, or pastor. The helping loved one begins …Read More

How Codependents Enable Addicts

With any addiction to chemicals or to a habit, loved ones trying to help addicts need to realize and continually remind themselves of three things:  “I didn’t cause the addiction, I can’t control it, and I can’t cure it either.”  But you can make it easier for addicts to keep their addiction going.  How?  The counterproductive efforts people make to help and reform their addicted loved ones are called enabling behaviors.  Those who do them are calledcodependents, because these behaviors make them just as dependent …Read More

The Best Revenge: Up, Out, and Away

The great majority of fights we’re fired up for just aren’t worth fighting. Recently I tried to get into an argument with a relative that was harshly criticizing my wife. She appreciated that I wanted to protect her, but she didn’t really need it. In fact she seemed amused at my efforts, and when I asked her later why, she said, “It was like watching you wrestle a pig. You …Read More

Keeping Your Anger in the Fairway

I like to think of anger as the normal human response to injustice. It’s the way we’re supposed to feel inside when something is unfair. It’s healthy, because it helps us to see what we can do to correct the injustice, and then it motivates us to do it. After we have taken action, the anger is supposed to go away, so we can forgive and relax and sleep like …Read More